“Let’s watch the movie,” my aunt said. She put an arm around me and pulled me against her. The film had begun by now. I saw a man and a woman ly...ng on a bed. The woman unfastened the man’s pants and took his penis out. Then she started to suck it enthusiastically.“Do you get excited when you look at this?” my aunt asked.“Er, yes, kind of,” I stammered uncertainly. My penis that was standing straight up in my underpants seemed a lot less uncertain, though.“Would you like a woman to do that to. First of all, my pussy was throbbing and desperately needing release, but secondly, it gave me a bit of a naughty thrill to be only naked from the waist down, legs spread, my sex pulsing, waiting for my fingers to touch myself, to make myself cum.I ran my hands up underneath my shirt, teasing myself but only for a moment, reaching up under my bra and grabbing at my nipples, pinching them both, pulling on them, my body crying out for more. I wish these were his hands on my breasts, his teeth. Go figure.I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc, I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 3 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck.Folks, we're screwedDoctors(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.© Accidental deaths. While Steve was eating his dinner Trish Simon sat down at his table. She asked him if he could help her out at the fund raising dinner they were having for the hospital.“What do you have in mind?”“Well there is a silent auction and I would like to auction off a date with you.”“Why don’t you just let me make a monetary donation?”“That would be nice but I do need prizes to auction off and since you are single and if I may say good looking, it could mean a large donation to the hospital. You don’t.
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